Jan 27 2008
The Internet is a treasure trove of odd yet compelling bits of fiction, often authored by nameless wordsmiths with no desire for fame or the rewards fame reaps. Like many writers in high-priced Vancouver who will gladly take a certified check, I’m not one of them. But I certainly am grateful for the free content, creative geniuses. Keep it coming.
My latest find is an author of savagely funny and earnestly strange prose who I hope will one day reveal himself (herself?) and take a bow for the following story excerpted below and found in its full form at Fast Fictions:
The Bad-Ass MoFo with the Ouija Board Tattooed to his Stomach
There was a kid named Stan and he had crappy parents, stupid brothers and sisters and teachers that were completely retarded. He lived in a lousy house that didn’t have a plasma screen t.v. and his parents always yelled at him to keep the heat down because they wanted to save ten cents on the heating.
One day he was mowing the front lawn which totally sucked because he only got ten dollars for doing it but it took hours and hours to do. This black van pulled up and these guys dressed like real ninja’s jumped out. They ran over to Stan who tried to run but it was too late. They stuffed him in a black sack and threw him back into the van. From the black sack he could hear the van peel out. Of course he was scared (wouldn’t you be ?) but then he heard them playing Metallica and he thought maybe he’d be okay.
Oh, it’s good.