“A lot of laymen don’t understand that a good tattooist has to master blood-typology AND laser-programming AND three years of dermatology. Plus, we take an oath.”

“When you see a sterotypical windsurfer in a Hollywood movie, they never mention our advanced calculus skills. Instead it’s all just, ‘Oh, there’s some wind! Now I’m surfing!’”

“Excuse me, have YOU got a Ph.d in Women’s Studies from Concordia? Have you researched the pre-historical matriarchies? I didn’t think so. Just because you have a vagina doesn’t mean you know anything about feminism.”

“Yes. Yes, I am the Dagu Whisperer.”

“If there’s one thing I know, it’s human nature.”

And my respect. Although, you’d already earned that long ago.

What did I win again?

Anna, for “how to help cows give birth”. I found this advice, “position yourself in between the legs, away from hooves – so you don’t get kicked in the forehead,” helpful for a wide range of situations.

Ruth Seeley wins silver, for “chicken sex and egg creation”, tied with Maurice Cardinal for “hurtling away from earth”.

The bronze medal winners are a three-way tie between Tanya for “fish farming”, Robert Ballantyne for “how to make money the easy way” and Monica Hamburg for “wine connoisseur”.

Honorable mention goes to Alan Stevens for “the economic situation”

For those curious about the winner selection process, we assure you that the process was based on highly specific critieria as well as completely random algorithms. Thanks for playing!