Apr 22 2009

EcoView: The Evil Way To Celebrate Earth Day

Happy Earth Day, everyone! If you’re not sure how to make the Earth a greener place, here are a few ideas that you won’t find on David Suzuki’s homepage:

1. Set off massive electromagnetic pulses in major cities around the planet to render all vehicles inert. No cars, no carbon footprint.

2. Forced evacuation of cities like Calgary that seem to have been built with the exact opposite of sustainability principles in mind. Write off the loss as a giant tax credit for all Canadians.

3. Have poachers of endangered land and marine species sent to live in Sudbury, Ontario. Do the same to their friends and families.

4. Break into a lab and unleash a zombie plague to reduce the number of consumers.

5. Eat all kittens and puppies. Pets just use up more of our scarce resources.

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