Sep 10 2009

Santa Claus Left Homeless By Climate Change

For shame.

Effects of Arctic warming seen as widespread

CRYING KIDS
Why didn’t Santa come this year?

GLUM DAD
Sorry, children. Rather than following the intuitively reasonable precautionary principle, us grown-ups decided to wait for definitive proof that carbon buildup was causing climate change before spending any significant resources on the problem. As such, I’m afraid Santa and all his elves are bloated corpses floating in the ocean.

CRYING KIDS
That’s why we don’t get any presents?

GLUM DAD
No, you don’t get any presents because your Daddy lost his job at the plant because the grown-ups in charge of managing the economy were greedy psychopaths.

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