Oct 31 2009

Biting the Hand that Feeds

Published by at 1:46 pm under Current Events,USA

Dramatization of the international talks between the USA and Pakistan on the war along the Pakistan-Afghanistan border:

PAKISTAN
How dare you attack the militant thugs we’ve sworn to destroy as well?

USA
Um, ah, well…

PAKISTAN
The Taliban are attacking our people in our schools, public markets and even our supposedly secure army headquarters… and meanwhile, you’re blowing them up these killers with your drones! What do you have to say for yourself!?

USA
Um… You’re welcome?

PAKISTAN
Infidel dog! Don’t you know that only Pakistan has the sovereign right to attack the Taliban that resides within our own borders and threatens the very existence of our nation — and that we’ll take care of them when we’re good and ready?

USA
OK, then. Are you moving your army in to finish them off once and for all?

PAKISTAN
Of course! We’ve sent in two per cent of our army to do this job. And I can guarantee that less than half of our officers are actively working with the Taliban. How much more of a commitment can we possibly show to you?

USA (OPENING HIS WALLET)
OK, OK. How many more billions of dollars did you need this year?

PAKISTAN
Our glorious and independent nation is willing to accept $7.5 billion as tribute and a show of goodwill. But don’t think this gets you anything in return. Just so we’re clear, everybody here hates you. And of course, any decrease in funding next year will be seen as a sign of the most wicked betrayal in human history. Got it?

USA
Got it. It’s been a pleasure doing business with you.

PAKISTAN
Go f**k yourself.

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2 responses so far

2 Responses to “Biting the Hand that Feeds”

  1. Rob Con 31 Oct 2009 at 2:44 pm

    Nothing unusual there The ungrateful bastards.

  2. Kurskon 31 Oct 2009 at 2:54 pm

    The Pakistanis do ‘just enough’ to be seen by the US as doing something in the fight against terrorists.

    The Pakistani military, intelligentsia and security forces find it hard to kill the baby they birthed.

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