New Media

Dramatization of the international talks between the USA and Pakistan on the war along the Pakistan-Afghanistan border:

PAKISTAN
How dare you attack the militant thugs we’ve sworn to destroy as well?

USA
Um, ah, well…

PAKISTAN
The Taliban are attacking our people in our schools, public markets and even our supposedly secure army headquarters… and meanwhile, you’re blowing them up these killers with your drones! What do you have to say for yourself!?

USA
Um… You’re welcome?

PAKISTAN
Infidel dog! Don’t you know that only Pakistan has the sovereign right to attack the Taliban that resides within our own borders and threatens the very existence of our nation — and that we’ll take care of them when we’re good and ready?

USA
OK, then. Are you moving your army in to finish them off once and for all?

PAKISTAN
Of course! We’ve sent in two per cent of our army to do this job. And I can guarantee that less than half of our officers are actively working with the Taliban. How much more of a commitment can we possibly show to you?

USA (OPENING HIS WALLET)
OK, OK. How many more billions of dollars did you need this year?

PAKISTAN
Our glorious and independent nation is willing to accept $7.5 billion as tribute and a show of goodwill. But don’t think this gets you anything in return. Just so we’re clear, everybody here hates you. And of course, any decrease in funding next year will be seen as a sign of the most wicked betrayal in human history. Got it?

USA
Got it. It’s been a pleasure doing business with you.

PAKISTAN
Go f**k yourself.

The Taliban could be finished in 2010. Things are looking up for Pakistan and the UN-mandated mission in Afghanistan.

The strategic error the Pakistani Taliban have made is game-changing. The Taliban attack on Pakistan’s army HQ means Pakistan now has no choice but to smash the fanatical thugs in what will likely be an extremely bloody operation.

Pakistan’s generals would have been happy to play a double game for years, propping up the Taliban in Afghanistan while making a show of sporadic and ineffective combat against the Taliban on their home turf, in return for billions in unconditional US military aid. No longer.

For eight years, Americans have been trying to bribe and cajole the Pakistani army to finally go into South Waziristan and do what the army of a rational state is supposed to do — enforce sovereignty right up to it’s national border. In the end, all of the logical prodding and cash-filled briefcases they’ve given their “ally” were for nothing. Many critics of the Pakistanis assumed the only thing that could get them to really take on the Taliban would be a direct attack on their masters — and now the thugs have obliged.

Some will argue that the Pakistanis simply don’t have enough military power to pacify the region where the Taliban rules. But now even Pakistan’s most recalcitrant generals should be willing to move a million troops from the Indian border into this fight. That’s a start.

Perhaps the newly emboldened Pakistani army will even be able to capture Osama in the Taliban’s home turf. You never know what they might find, now that they’ve got the stomach to do what they should have been doing for the past eight years.