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Come quick, CBC! I have access to top-secret documents proving that the Canadian government officials at the highest levels deliberately handed over enemy combatants in Afghanistan to Lex Luthor and Gorrila Grod for super-villain style interrogation. My research shows that the prisoners were probably subjected to unhealthy doses of Kryptonite and freeze rays.

I can’t actually show you the documents, of course. In fact, I can’t offer any proof to substantiate my claim due to legal technicalities. But I assure you, my evidence is 100 per cent verifiable and I have no motivation beyond the desire to share the truth with my fellow Canadians.

That should be good enough for the CBC, right? I mean, you’ve set a precedent.

Further reading for those interested in the background on this bizarre saga:
Maybe some former Liberal ministers should be worrying about their asses

Facts: The previous Liberal government and Afghan detainees

“Torture in Afghanistan: The Liberals knew” redux

Afghan detainees and the former Liberal government/Human rights Update

More interesting moments in journalism:

They need our help now more than ever. Will Canada stand by the people of Afghanistan post-2011? Will we support our ally or turn our backs? It’s not too late to change course from where our foreign policy seems to be headed in the absence of strong moral and political leadership from all parties.

I hope the people of Canada are not going to leave us alone and they are going to support us after 2011 as well. Afghans cannot make their lives stable without the support of other international friends, especially Canadians.

Especially after spending lots of time and lots of energy, and we together have spilled a lot of our blood in support of Afghans. If Afghanistan is not stable, then stability of all countries around us in this global village will be at risk. It’s very important to remember that Afghans are also human beings. They also wish to have a better future for their families and their children and it’s not possible for us to make it alone. We need the support of friends, especially Canadian friends.

If you’re going to be in Ottawa on March 9 and want to learn more about the future of Canada’s involvement in Afghanistan, you have to attend this. It’s about keeping our promises.

During the Vietnam war, American forces were obsessed with body counts. In a jungle war where the South Vietnamese and US forces were theoretically in control of all territory, while actual military control extended only to the nearest treeline, counting enemy deaths served as some kind of grotesque marker for military success. In the end, these metrics were utterly beside the point. The Americans bugged out under the cover of a peace deal that was promptly torn up as communist tanks crashed through the gates of the presidential palace in Saigon.

Americans and NATO forces like our own don’t publicize body counts anymore. It’s not just because Vietnam tainted the practice. Partly, this is because they work for politicians elected by populations that have only rarely been comfortable with the scale of carnage made possible by industrial methods. Body counts may have helped certain soldiers win promotions, but this sort of information doesn’t do much to win the hearts and minds of the home front. Instead, we focus today on the more traditional metrics of success on the battlefield — territory and the support of the people who dwell within it.

These days, it is the Taliban who are obsessed with body counts — as usual, without distinguishing combatants and civilians. In the heart of Kabul, seventeen Afghans and foreigners were murdered this morning by suicide attackers. The enemy boasts of their “glorious” victory over medical doctors, a documentary film-maker, government officials and three Afghan policemen. It was a brutal act, only slightly dulled in its effect by the parade of Taliban atrocities that have come before it.

While the Taliban are focused on the body counts of doctors, film makers, aid workers and ordinary Afghan civilians, ISAF and the Afghan National Army are concentrating on the end-game. It’s not about counting corpses — it’s about boots on the ground and ordinary Afghans having a chance to get on with their lives without worrying about getting their throats slit by barbarians.

We’re still early into this surge, as our own soldiers and our allies have finally been given the resources they need to do the job. But the early signs are promising. Finally, we can start looking at what comes after the thugs have been routed. By 2011, we may already be a good ways along this road.

Further Reading
On This Day, The Birthday Of The Prophet: A Taliban Atrocity In The Streets of Kabul
Turning the Tide Against the Taliban

What’s in store for Canada in Afghanistan post-2011?

The Canada-Afghanistan Solidarity Committee (CASC) will unveil its Vision for Canada’s Role in Afghanistan Post-2011 on March 9 at the National Archives Hall in Ottawa. The event, called “Canada and Afghanistan: Keeping Our Promises”, is hosted by the Free Thinking Film Society of Ottawa and is also a fundraiser for the Afghan School Project.

Tickets: $30 regular admission, $15 students
• Purchase tickets online:
Online at http://www.canilf.org/news/
• Purchase tickets in person:
Ottawa Folklore Centre (1111 Bank Street, Ottawa)
Compact Music (190 Bank; 7851 ½ Bank Street, Ottawa)

Just so we’re all on the same page, killing dangerous jihad-obsessed fanatics hunkered down along the Pakistan frontier with drone-fired Hellfire missiles is good.

The US has recently stepped up its drone attacks as the CIA hunts a bomber who killed seven CIA employees late last year in the border area.

In contrast, there seems to be a problem with killing a dangerous jihad-obsessed fanatic enjoying a stay at a Dubai luxury hotel.

Britain’s relations with Israel are entering a period of crisis over the apparent use of cloned UK passports in the assassination of a Hamas official in Dubai.

OK, got it. Keep the game in bounds, gentlemen. After all, what distinguishes us is that we play by the rules — as opposed to the enemy, who uses children as human shields.

No retreat. No “reconciliation” with psychotic thugs. No backroom deals with those who intend to turn Afghanistan into a vast refugee camp full of militant religious fanatics.

That’s the view from pretty well everyone in Afghanistan worth quoting about President Hamid Karzai’s clumsy and self-defeating efforts to somehow bring the Taliban into the fold of the government.

“The sacrifices you have made here, and all your taxpayers’ money. What for? You will have to ask that,” Mr. Abdullah said in an interview.

He said Canada would not be trespassing on Afghanistan’s sovereignty if it moves to block a “reconciliation” deal that circumvents Afghanistan’s parliamentary system. More importantly, he said, Canada is burdened by a duty to its own citizens to see that it does not happen.

“You have more than a right to stay firm in that,” Mr. Abdullah said. “Not just for the sake of any Afghan persons or an Afghan movement, but for the sake of the sacrifices you have made here. You are not in the business of betraying your own people. In that sense, it is an obligation.”

The full story by Terry Glavin, reporting from Afghanistan, is at the National Post, ‘STAY FIRM’ AGAINST TALIBAN: ABDULLAH. Read every word.