New Media » Middle East

My Middle East Predictions for 2012

jnarvey — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 07:43:36 +0000

I wrote a novel a little while back dealing with issues of the Middle East. It’s a part of the world I think about a fair bit (check out my commentary at The Propagandist). Usually, it’s because crazy bad stuff is happening there so it’s in the news. A lot of terrible things will continue to happen in 2012, but I think a few nice things will also happen with the bad stuff. Here goes:

Syrian President Bashar Al-Assad will be deposed. Syria may actually become a neo-Ottoman protectorate.
Iran’s nuclear program will be further degraded by software viruses and “industrial accidents”. No need for airstrikes. Phew.
Israel will continue to develop groundbreaking technology that benefits the world and is grudgingly used by BDS campaigners who never invented anything in their dumb lives.
Sales of the Yemeni equivalent of Gatorade will continue to go up due to water scarcity.
Egyptian environmentalists protesting the carbon economy will keep blowing up gas pipelines.

The Middle East Is A Rough Neighborhood As I illustrated in my novel, the Middle East is...

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Summer Reading For The Arab Spring

jnarvey — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 08:31:25 +0000

My latest short fiction piece in The Propagandist: Middle East Inc. and the Arab Spring. An excerpt:

“So, boss?” Hussein spurred on, trying through sheer force of will not to sweat through his old suit. “Do we have a plan?”

“I don’t think we should change a thing,” Assad said. “Our customers are fine with what we give them. Corruption, torture, terror… we have to stick to our main business offerings. That’s what we’re known for.”

Najib shook his head. “Look, boss. I’ve only been with the company a little while, but it seems to me the marketplace is changing. They’re not going for the old product line. Word on the street is the customers want freedom. Democracy.”

If you’re looking for something a bit weightier in a similar vein, you could always try my novel, A History of the Middle Eastside.

The Arab League And Libya If the discussions between the Arab League and the coalition...
Why Waste Your Money On A Diet Book? You’re Just Going To Get Fat Again. Buy My Novel Instead I hate that The 17 Day Diet: A Doctor’s Plan...

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Why Waste Your Money On A Diet Book? You’re Just Going To Get Fat Again. Buy My Novel Instead

jnarvey — Fri, 08 Apr 2011 21:10:48 +0000

I hate that The 17 Day Diet: A Doctor’s Plan Designed for Rapid Results is the #1 bestselling book on Amazon and my novel places at #3,594,287.

I bet The 17 Day Diet doesn’t have cool-as-ice gangsters serving up Yiddish slang in the middle of bloody knife fights. So there.

Guess it’s time to bump up the marketing campaign.

Check out A History Of The Middle Eastside

Buy My Book For $500. Or $10. Your Choice I’m not exactly sure how Amazon works, but somebody seems...
How People Who Know Me Can Make Money My Vancouver-based SEO website copywriting company now has a referral...

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The Arab League And Libya

jnarvey — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 02:39:39 +0000

If the discussions between the Arab League and the coalition of Western nations bombing Gaddafi’s military forces were dramatized:

The West
Gaddafi is killing his own people! Human rights are being violated! We’ve got to do something!

Arab League
Well, we see your point, but we think the situation requires an Arab solution.

The West
OK, what’s your solution? Are you ready to intervene?

Arab League
Uh, er, no.

The West
So you have no solution.

Arab League
Well, what do you want? This “no-fly” zone? Fine. I guess we could go along with that.

The West
You understand that a no-fly zone means someone has to take out Libya’s air defenses, right? So, you’re going to take care of that? What about other measures?

Arab League
Well, we’re fine with all measures that will protect Libya’s civilians. All necessary measures.

The West
Really? You didn’t seem too enthused a moment ago.

Arab League
Well, I mean, we might get involved. But perhaps it is better if you take the lead role.

The West
I thought you said you wanted an “Arab” solution.

Arab League
Oh yes. It’s our solution. Save the civilians. It is a good thing. We’ll get on board later. You go ahead.

The West
OK, uh, so we’re good, here. I’m glad we’re on the same page.

48 HOURS LATER

Arab League
Why are you bombing innocent civilians in Libya?

The West
We’re not. We’re bombing Libyan military forces Gaddafi is using to slaughter his civilians…

Arab League
We didn’t authorize this! It’s more Western imperialism! You are killing innocent Muslims! Jihad! Jihad! Death to the Infidels!

The West
Aw fucking hell.

Will Revolutionary Egypt Act In A Revolutionary Way? With the United Nations’ authorization of all necessary measures to...

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Will Revolutionary Egypt Act In A Revolutionary Way?

jnarvey — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 03:00:26 +0000

With the United Nations’ authorization of all necessary measures to take down the Gaddafi regime, the world is once more looking to the USA and NATO to intervene. But Egypt is an original member of the United Nations, has Africa’s largest military and shares a border with Libya.

Will Egypt export its democratic revolution?

The Middle East Is A Rough Neighborhood As I illustrated in my novel, the Middle East is...

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The Middle East Is A Rough Neighborhood

jnarvey — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 21:28:37 +0000

As I illustrated in my novel, the Middle East is a place full of strange, violent and revolutionary characters. And I’ve been commenting a fair bit over at The Propagandist on the consequences of the blazingly rapid change sweeping the region:

See more at The Propagandist magazine

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Buy My Book For $500. Or $10. Your Choice

jnarvey — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 02:54:11 +0000

I’m not exactly sure how Amazon works, but somebody seems to be making a whole lot of money off my novel, A History of The Middle Eastside.

If these guys at “quality-books” can actually find a buyer at that price, all the power to them.

Of course, if you’d like to purchase my book for $9.99 plus shipping, that would be swell, too.

Want a FREE COPY of A History Of The Middle Eastside? If you’re a book reviewer for a magazine, newspaper or political/literary/cultural blog, I’ve still got a few review copies I can send out. Contact me at jnarvey [AT] writeimage [DOT] ca

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A History Of The Middle Eastside. Buy It On Amazon!

jnarvey — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 01:49:58 +0000

I mentioned on this blog a little while back that I wrote a novel in 2010. It’s called A History Of The Middle Eastside and it’s now available for purchase on Amazon.

If you haven’t quite finished your Christmas shopping (I know, I didn’t quite make the deadline for Chanukah) and like books, check it out. It’s a “Gangs of New York”-style allegory for the history of Zionism, international intrigues and the modern Middle East. It’s a bit surreal, like a Charlie Kaufman film, with some emulative touches of Michael Chabon’s “The Yiddish Policemen’s Union”. And violent, as you might expect from a gangster story. Er, perfect for the holiday season.

If you’re a book reviewer or political commentator (blogger or mainstream media) and interested in writing about it, I do have a limited number of review copies available. Contact me at jnarvey [AT] writeimage [DOT] ca

Cheers.

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Propaganda Roundup. Sudan, Libel Tourism, Iran and More

jnarvey — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 18:09:03 +0000

Some great new articles at The Propagandist, your one-stop shop for brass-knuckles political commentary.

Confusion to our enemies!

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How Beijing Brought Peace To The Middle East

jnarvey — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 16:44:16 +0000

For this International Day of Peace, I was generously invited by The Mark to write about a possible pathway to peace. To no one’s surprise, I chose the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. And I’d like to think that if reality played out this way, we’d have a solution in about 24 hours. Read the full article, China Can Solve Israeli-Palestinian Conflict. An excerpt:

Middle East watchers and pundits are gobsmacked at the sheer speed of the talks. How could these leaders hash out an agreement in mere hours after decades of wrangling and bloodshed?

That morning, an utterly forgettable American envoy named Joe walked into the room and sheepishly addressed the Israeli and Palestinian leaders. He turned out to be an accountant. Querulous introductions followed. Next, he outlined some harsh truths.

“Look, the U.S. just can’t afford to keep pouring money down the drain and neither can our European pals,” Joe said with a shrug. “We’re broke. And our Chinese creditors, to whom we owe trillions, are threatening to call in our loans. And they’ve given us certain … conditions on our discretionary spending.”

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